it's the first of the month.

or at least it was when i started this post.

at the beginning of the week, typically after i've drank myself into a stupor and remedied multiple hangovers with cupcakes, cracker barrel and crisco, i feel super motivated to work on my fitness and diet... or lack there of. at the beginning of the month said motivation is on steriods and i'm a crazed woman. lucky for you stalkers readers my period has aligned itself perfectly this month and the chemical imbalance in my brain has made me slightly anal (taylor: no, thank you... i didn't mean it like that). i've decided to document what i eat and how i exercise for 14 days. edit: this lasted ONE day... i'm such a committed soul...

woke up at 7am. jonah was running her claws down the bedroom walls. on my way to the kitchen for this...

happy easter.

jonah and i played a game we like to call "tampon soccer"...

halftime.

after i put my hair in a ponytail, thought about putting make up on and then thought against it got ready for work, i packed my lunch pail...

i ate the greek yogurt with 1/2 a cup of old fashioned oatmeal around 10:30am

i ate the apple around 1:30pm and made a turkey and cheddar sandwich around 3pm. the main ingredient to my sandwiches is mustard. the amount of everything else on my sanwiches pale in comparison to the amount of mustard that they are smothered and covered in. at 5:15pm i met my friend Michelle for a quick 3-4 miler, which turned out to be an incredibly slowww one. she just picked up smoking a few weeks ago... and "would feel like such a quitter" if she gave it up now. despite all the wheezing, we did finish 3.75miles.



showing off my two favorite pieces of jewelry. garmin and bling. oh, and that's my "i'm gonna keep running despite my bowels being in a complete up roar" face.

and now i will apologize for this post being put up 4 days late... i'm sorry. get off my case. i've been busy. after our "run" (seriously, i really shouldn't even call it that), Michelle took me out to celebrate my engagement! i drug her out with me on my first date with Taylor... i mean what if i didn't like him?! she's been there since the first time i spanked that juicy man-ass so she was excited for us :) and i ate all but a few bites of this...

medium rare filet and cauliflower mash. orgasm.

and i had one too many bottles glasses of carbernet, stumbled home, slept in my make-up and got up bright and early the next day (3 pounds lighter) to continue drinking. old habits are hard to break people! i will try not to choose alcohol over my blog again but i can't make any promises. i mean, i'm a trophy wife in training. i'm supposed to be drinking bellinis and laying out in the sunshine and making time for the occasional aerobics class, right? right. not "working" in my office on a national holiday like i am right now...