the "d" word is lurking.

ugh. i new this day would come eventually.

yesterday taylor texted me that he had "something kind of important" to tell me. the only time he uses that phrase is when he has to leave me and the only time i'll ever get to use that phrase is when i'm knocked up. i saw the text after a run in 95degree weather. i was exhausted. then i read that text and was exhausted and shitting my pants. i knew exactly what it was about and got myself so worked up about it that i had to find the nearest toilet. there was no wait-until-i-get-home nonsense.

when i did finally make it home, taylor called to tell me about the upcoming deployment "d" word. spring of 2012. as soon as we talked about it i felt this weird calm about it. it's going to blow one big moose's weiner with herpes on the side but i'm able to see silver lining in this huge, black cloud.
1. we have a decent amount of time to get settled in california. find a job. get into a routine.
2. he's not going to miss any of the big holidays. missing any holiday isn't fun but thanksgiving, christmas, my birthday and new years without him would send me over the edge right now. he'll be home for all of those :)
3. i'll have a wifey. the best wifey a girl could ask for. my little LoLo over at bravwhimp.blogspot.com. we'll be with each other every step of the way. taylor and her hubs are going to be in the same unit and deploying together. i hope she's ready to snuggle me.
4. after homecoming, we can have a gorgeous fall wedding and a kick-ass honeymoon!

speaking of homecoming... is it too early for me to be fantasizing about it? because i am. it's over a year away but i'm getting sweating palms just thinking about it.

he's only been gone 19 days (this time) and i'm so ready to squeeze him. i think your mentality during a long seperation is like your mentality on a long run though. if you tell yourself "i'm going to run 4 miles" it's going to get challenging after 3.5 and you're going to think you're pushing hard to finish it out strong. BUT, if you tell yourself "i'm going to speed through 7 miles" those first 4 miles are NOTHING! i knew he'd only be gone a month this time and that's why this last week is dragging. I've just got to get myself in the mindset for 7 months and it'll be smooth sailing. Lo keeps reminding me that we are strong (and beautiful) women and that's why they picked us. That little reassurance gives me a "can-do-it" attitude. I could not be prouder to stand by taylor for the rest of my life <3.