san francisco.

moving on...

     the following are "bullets" briefly detailing (what an annoying term... briefly detailing. oxy moron. you all are... for wasting your time reading this shit.) our trip to san francisco.

-i knew this trip was going to be an "experience" when long beach airport heightened it's security measures. they eliminated the whole take-your-shoes-off-stand-here-and-get-foot-gonorrhea-while-i-pilfer-through-your-purse step and made us all go through like this...

-another good sign was our san fran cab driver who had a strange resemblance to Jimmie Walker and called T and i "cool cats."

-our first night there we went to joe's crab shack in fisherman's wharf for dinner, where Taylor mentioned he wanted to get "young and dumb about it." i took him completely serious, acted like an 18 month old and threw a temper tantrum about which side of the bed i wanted to sleep on that night. i think he was referring to drinking alcohol like a 19 year old though.

-the next day, after another successful temper tantrum, which led us away from a denny's and into a starbucks (pretty pretty princess gets what she wants), we took a bus tour of the shitty city.

eyes like a hawk. spotted this bansky piece.

 stopped in union square to shop and say "hello" to that giant ninja.

ahhh! inner hippie is losing it's mind with excitement right now.

-the entire city smells like patchouli and weed smoke. there are very nice 15 year old hippies on the street corners who will sell you some marijuana if you feel left out because everyone has it but you.

-no one in this town asks for your id. two things: that makes me feel old and i'll never allow my spawns to visit this city without me.

- we had a very nice sexy dinner night (i believe you common folk refer to this as date night) at a restaurant called scoma's right on the water. and then walked to ghirardelli square for hot chocolate and dessert.  

fat girl status.

- the next day we went to alcatraz for a tour of taylor's new home. 

keep making that face and it'll stay like that.

 doing my best asian tourist impression while in solitary confinement.

- i spent most of our trip in leggings (a miracle bra for your a$$) and uggs. taylor was under the impression that people were constantly staring at my camel toe and just couldn't get it through his head that they were staring at me because of my beauty.

here are some other things i saw in san francisco...

i like to look a little less north beach and a lot more marin county.

rvca store in the haight. ride on cowboy.

i don't know who this bimbo is but she was werkin' for the paparazzi me.

homeless man in make-shift bush scaring the spare change right out of people's pants.

grizabella the glamor cat.

     that's all for now folks. gotta go spike the eggnog! cheers!

one picture.

     and almost 3 months later the "challenge" that was supposed to take 10 days is finally completed with a picture of myself. i lurve pictures of myself and this one especially. the genuine happiness in this picture is completely apparent. this is that "holy crap, god created the perfect man for me, i get to spend my life with him and i feel freaking skinny gorgeous right now" moment.

(this is not "the" dress so stop freaking the fuck out about it)

     and i've also decided to treat you freaks fans to the details of our secret wedding. so brace yourself. taylor and i decided, for a multitude of reasons, that it would be best for us (well, mostly me) to get married before the marine corps moved us to california. that left us about 6 weeks to plan a wedding... not really something i wanted to do. 

     our marriage needed to be quick and easy (much like he was on our first date)... and planning that sounded like a perfect job for my groom. yep, Taylor planned our wedding marriage, which totally explains why we got married at 9am in front of some random lady's fireplace.

     thursday, august 11th rolled around and my wedding planner fiance informed me that i had to sneak my birth certificate away from my parent's file cabinet in order to get our marriage license. i tried to be so sneaky in this covert operation and avoid all "what do you need that for?" questions but i was caught. by dale... and bless his heart, the only thing he thought to ask was "are you going on a cruise?" i don't even remember how i responded to that pitiful question or if i said anything at all. i was expecting a full-throttle interrogation and this man was thinking of pleasure cruises...

     the next day we went down to the courthouse to file for our marriage license. the courthouse was a zoo, a mexican zoo, that morning. we couldn't find a parking spot and in a desperate attempt to keep the "quick and easy" theme going, we parked in a family friend's driveway. fearing she might see my car and get suspicious i sent her a quick text: hey! can't find parking and i gotta run on the courthouse for a few minutes for work. parked in your driveway. thank you :) her response should have been: you're an event planner at a municipal golf course and you have no business taking care of any of their legal issues. what are you really up to? but she, like my father, was naive as hell and just went with it.

    we ran in the courthouse, saw the metal detectors and then immediately ran back out because... did you know you can't take your cell phone in those places? that's some bullshit. anyway, when we were safely back in there with no ability to contact the outside world, we successfully obtained our marriage license and got the hell out of dodge... before anyone asked for my autograph.

     i have no recollection of what else happened that day. i probably got shit balls drunk and blacked out. funny, that's exactly what i'm doing right now. i'll blog about the "marriage day" later... the keyboard is starting to look all melty-like.

two songs.

2. i went through a period of a little over 3 years that i was haunted by this song. it was produced and released in 1993 and i would hear it on the radio all the time from 2007-2010. i would put my ipod on shuffle and this song would play multiple times... sometimes in a row. i love this song. it's powerful and the lyrics are deep. adam duritz is insane and brilliant. i especially love him because once when blender magazine asked him "what would your exes say about you?" his response was "they would tell you; that boy loves to eat pussy... and i'm damn good at it." gah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PAP3kN8J8w

1. this song is about me. T bought the CD about 9 months ago and made me listen to this track driving home from a dinner date one night and it gave me the chills. especially "your comebacks they're quick and probably have to do with your insecurities." these lyrics brought me back down to earth. <3.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGNpr9Dw9zE

three films.

well, my hiatus is over. a lot has happened since i last blogged. i flew home to virginia for my cousin's wedding. alone. i saw that as a perfect opportunity to take some drugs i've just been dying to try. CA to VA: ambien. VA to CA: xanax. the ambien turned long beach into a delicious-looking giant fruit tart until it hit me over the head like a pillowcase full of dead batteries and then i was "out" for the entire flight. i did wake briefly for a few moments to turn my head. otherwise, i would have drown in my own tray-top drool pool. the xanax's power paled in comparison to that of the turbulence and didn't do any cool shit to my brain :( humph. next time i'll pair 1 xanax with 5 grey geese and expect better results.

more on my trip later. the following are my 3 films. okay, they're movies. only douchelords use the term "films."

3. the grinch. only the one with jim carrey. it's my faaavorite movie, i watch it once a day in the month of december and i know every word. "i want a pony so i can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue."

2. the other sister. again, i know every word. i spent a better part of my adolescence dreaming of becoming a famous actress. a famous actress that only plays mentally handicapped characters. who in there right mind would purposely typecast themselves like that?! thanks juliette lewis.

1. urban cowboy. i saw the first five minutes when we spent the night in new mexico. i tried so hard to stay awake and watch it but just couldn't stand the thought of being conscious anymore, especially in new mexico. now, we look for it everywhere we go and no one has it for sale.

oh, i almost forgot to mention. i got a real job and don't have a lot of time for this blogging non-sense anymore. that's right... i gave up bottles of cabernet at noon and never wearing pants for a paycheck. laaammmeee.

four books.

4. my favorite book. it's not even a book. it's a masterpiece. it was the only required reading i enjoyed (well, actually did) during school.

3. i read this book during the summer of 2008 and i still catch myself genuinely missing the characters in it to this day. i fell in love with james frey and i've read every novel he's written. i don't give a rat's ass if he embellished his story because its phenomenal and i hate oprah.

2. i bought this book over 3 years ago and still have yet to read it. its packed in my carry on for tomorrow's flight, which i just realized is the first flight i'll ever take totally alone : /

1. everyone (men & women) needs to read this book. it was given to me by my aunt after i got out of a... we'll say "weird" relationship. it changed my outlook and taught me lessons about love. i'm a better person for reading it.

on another note, big love left for a "field exercise" this morning and won't be home until the end of the month. i'm emotional and pouty. i'm wearing his pajamas and tearing up at the most ridiculous things (ie, his wallet on the desk, the mud from his boots in the doorway and the peanut butter spoon in the sink that reminded what our "goodbye" kiss tasted like this morning). i was never this much of mess when he left for the field before and i'm sure i'll be able to put a smile on and get my day started soon. it's just knowing that this f-ex (field exercise) is preparing him for a real deployment that's making this harder than usual.

we interrupt this 10 day challenge.

to bring you a weekend update... i had this entire post written and saved but blogger ate it. T and the guys (two of his best buds are in his new unit with him) had a 72... happy wife :) in the "millie" world, 72 means 3 day weekend!

i spent friday night fighting and eventually giving into my vodka habit at our friend;s home. after i preformed a little song and dance number, T was ready to take me home. saturday morning i got up bright & early to go to a second interview at a gorgeous golf course. upon my arrival i immediately christened the handicapped stall and then wooed everyone in the building. saturday afternoon T and i watched LSU football and took naps on the couch... only getting up to go to our friends' home for dessert and card games.

sunday morning, we walked around the flea market. i hate the flea market. there is so much to look gawk at and it always makes me have to poop. there is no way in hell i'm pooping in some "mexican't's" porta-shitter. so i suffer the cold sweats and duecebumps for 2 hours while everyone else looks through other people's crap. that afternoon, the wives went shopping and the guys stayed home to get their gear together :( T made hamburgers for dinner, we watched one of our new favorite shows, Pan Am, and then went to bed.

yesterday i cleaned the house while T hit the gym and then we went for a couple's massage. watching my husband get rubbed down by a large, black man named Tony is very humbling. when we got home, T sat in the garage and finished packing up his gear... i sat on the couch folding laundry, watching "P.S. i love you," fighting back tears and occasionally searching for happiness in a jar of nutella.

*tomorrow morning T leaves for a 2 1/2 week field exercise. blah. this deployment will be here before we know it.

five foods.

5. sushi. my favorite date night meal.

4. fruit. apples, strawberries, grapes... i nom it all.

3. steak. moo.

2. butter. sometimes i even eat a dinner roll with my butter.

1. bacon. everything is better when you add bacon.